A Day of Change. Several exciting things happened today, and I will tell you about them right now.

Katie started her very own blog, which is a very happy event indeed! I went to my Intro to Philosophy class today for the first time in a week, and I actually contributed to the class discussion! But, something some of you may have been worrying about ever since I started whining about it a couple months ago has been remedied...

I QUIT AT PETERSON CLINICAL LAB!!!
Actually, I'm not quite sure if I quit or got fired. I arrived this morning my usual fifteen to twenty minutes late, and after going on my first little walking trip, I encountered my boss Stephen. Here is the conversation as I remember it:

Me: Hello.
Stephen: Good morning. How are we this morning?
Me: Oh, I'm all right. You?
Stephen: Livin' the dream, baby. (I digress, he did not ACTUALLY say this; however, he loves his job so much that that's the only way I know to illustrate his enthusiasm to you). He pauses. You look really tired, Michael.
Me: Well, Stephen, I am.
Stephen: These morning's just aren't good for you, are they?
Me: Yeah, especially since I work till eleven or midnight and don't get to bed until around two, then have to be here at eight. It's kind of driving me crazy.
Stephen: Do you think I need to get somebody in here to replace you?
Me: Yes, I think so.

So, as you can see, the boundaries between voluntary and involuntary termination of employment are kind of blurred. Either way I don't care, I'm actually kind of happy that I'm not going to be there much longer! In fact, I was kind of impressed that Stephen seemed so "understanding", although from my understanding, the only time he's really non-confrontational is when he's firing someone. Oh well!

As good as it gets? You know how you always expect that if the situation ever arises that you need to be able to write or say exactly what you think and feel about something, you would be able too given an ample amount of time? Well... maybe you don't expect that, but I do, given the fact that I've chosen to devote my life to the art of writing (at least for now, anyway), but I think I'm beginning to realize that that might not be the case. For instance, I am finding it impossibly difficult for me to communicate my feelings these days. Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself, or maybe I don't quite have the skill in the craft that I'd like. I guess, like all good things, it takes time. I want to write, but more importantly, I want what I write to be true and real. I don't want to write some shoddy piece of garbage that has been written in different words hundreds of times before; I want to write something new... something no one's ever thought of before... I want you to read what I write and not be like me and reply by saying "hmmmm". I want to cure you of my own disease; I want it to hit you, to enlighten you, to move you to think, act, and speak your mind. It seems that is something that I can't do anymore. At least not right now, anyway. Maybe I just need to get the inspiration back.

I bought a new book today. It's a collection of essays by Jonathan Franzen (author of The Corrections, which I have not read) entitled How to Be Alone. It's pretty good so far (I'm about ten pages in), and not nearly as depressing as the title would lead you to believe. From what I am gathering, the underlying theme of all the essays is how to move beyond today's mass-media driven culture and love your own individuality. That's probably leaving out a lot, but yeah. It seems to be almost a book by a writer for writers... or artists... or anyone who would like to be able to communicate SOMETHING about their experience. I won't hold my breath, but you might check it out if you get a chance.

We are reading a series of poems by William Blake called Songs of Innocence and Experience in my British Survey 2 class. It's interesting to see how much I can relate to my own life, even though the guy lived like two hundred years ago. He is right in his depiction of thought before and after the loss of innocence (and subsequent gain of experience), which I figure for me happened somewhere within my tenure at Olathe North High School. Back in the day, it was so easy to tell you exactly how I felt, to let you know how much I loved you. I wasn't inhibited by some cynical fear, a realization of reality, if you will, that not all good things work out in the world... a sentiment Blake touches on in his Songs of Experience. But what you really ought to know is this (and I know I'm sounding really weird and not making much sense right now but thank you for continuing to read): I love you. Every single instant of every single day, no matter how much you let me in or how far you shut me out. I may not always show it. At times, it may seem like I care for you about as much as I care for my job at Peterson Clinical Lab (which, by the by, I have not yet left), but nothing could be further from the truth. Apply this to yourself however you will, but I mean it. I will never stop loving you as much as I did the day I first knew I loved you.

"Love" is a huge abstraction. Someday I will earn the use of that word, but for now it's late, and I am tired.

Feel odd after reading all of this? Never fear... just dismiss this post and hope for better things next time :)

Oh, Fall. I love fall. I love all the halloween stuff and the cooler weather and all that stuff. I was driving around tonight with the windows down, the heater on, and the Dave playing, and it was wonderful.... except I wish I had a girl to pine for. Oh well! Perhaps another day!

This weekend was good. I had a small social gathering here on Friday night, which was fun. If you're from Manhattan, you might try the Hillside Cafe, which is where we ate that night. It is over by the All Chinese Buffet... it's a Mexican place. It's kind of different, but worth a go.

Jessica's tweny-first is this Wednesday! ALL my friends are going to be legal before long, and then I will just be bored. Spring Break is going to suck.

And now a line from "Stay or Leave", the current song of the moment: "Wake up naked drinking coffee/Making plans to change the world/While the world is changing us/It was good good love"

This has been a really weird week. I'm glad it's almost over... because I dunno how much more of it I can take! Katie Vincent turned twenty-one... a happy birthday to her. I myself have been skipping far too much class. I also told my boss at Peterson that I would finish out the semester there, a "promise" which I am now beginning to dread. We got new linoleum in our kitchen, but they took away our dishwasher and haven't given us one back. They were going to replace it on Wednesday, and so now they are pretty much two days late. If it's anything like the screens, we'll be handwashing dishes till Thanksgiving AT LEAST. Bastards.

I went back and visited some Putnam peeps... it was kind of weird. It's always good to see Dave and Sean and April and Lindsay and all those guys, but I just feel weird seeing people that I never really talked to, because then I feel like I have to make small talk, which I'm just no good at. It's kind of like the whole high school thing. But... that said, it was great seeing everyone! I miss the place :(

I've now been to the Wash Palace twice. I love that place! I don't know that I will ever go to another laundromat again! So good to know.

The high school kids at Cold Stone have gotten into giving me nicknames. My personal favorite: Ogre. Yeah... I need to do something. I hate those kids. Except Mindy, who admitted to me the other day that the first few times we worked together, she thought I was really annoying. That's okay, though, cause I thought she was a real bitch. We're great friends now (in the "coworkers-as-friends" sense). Kathleen's nice too, except for she started that whole nickname game. I don't think they read my blog, so I guess I don't need to be afraid to be candid.

Buy the new Dave Matthews solo album... or at least listen to it. I really like it, especially number eight.

The Weekend. The Cats lost this weekend. Bastards. My mom and brother came out for the game, which I really enjoyed... hopefully they can do it more often. Chad and I also got a pony keg which was very nice. We had a good time getting drunk.

I saw Anything Else... I don't really recommend it, unless you feel like watching a bad couple whine about how bad their relationship is for like two hours. The only redeeming quality, aside from Christina Ricci (who I enjoy) was the New York setting; however, even that is getting pretty old nowadays. It's like modern New York movies are almost tied down by the city rather than inspired by it. The major exception I would cite is Gangs of New York. That's what a New York movie should be... not just "another New York movie".

In other news, I got a promotion today at Cold Stone. I am now a crew leader, and I got a minor (but helpful) raise. Now I just need to leave Petersons. Chad is also making an online magazine which I think I would like to write for (IF we can find some topics for me to write about.) It just sounds like a fun way to hone my writing skills. Speaking of which, I think my blog posts are getting quite "blah", which is why I'm not doing them so much. Any suggestions?

Go here. It's fun.

Life these Days. Sorry that I never really have anything exciting to post. At any rate, I will just continue to leave you with mundane posts until you all inspire me with something truly great.

First, I'd like to congratulate my good friend Jason on his more-frequent updates to his blog. Truly inspiring. In fact, I think that it was his slacking off that led (lead?) to my own lull in updates. It was, after all, he who inspired me to do this.

I miss grange pups.

An Ode.
Reading his thoughts is like reading poetry
that begs translation
Like stepping into the skewed psyche
of someone completely unlike yourself.

You see how his world must look,
feel how little he feels
and are happy that in your world
"flavor" is the same as "taste".

The Post. I bought a ceiling fan today. Tomorrow I will install it, and hopefully it will be as energy-efficient as it says it is. I also hopes it looks semi-nice, but I won't be too surprised if it doesn't. A girl at the party left her phone number for me on the dry erase board. Chad put it in his phone and took it upon himself to call her (failing to realize that she did leave it for him). I don't know how that turned out... hopefully I can still call her sometime. She seemed really nice. And cute. Maybe I'll call her tomorrow.

In response to drunken posts. I could correct my repetativeness from the previous post, but I think it's important to note my own stupidty. While it is essentially free of grammar errors and typos that typically mar drunken posts, my post from last night failed to provide any meaningful content. I think that may say something about me... and how I obsess over minor details but forget other, bigger things. There's no point to this. I'm a little out of it.

I had a good day at work, I think because I got free Chipotle for the second time this weekend! Other than that, there's nothing really new to report.

Party time. My roommate and I threw our first "joint party" tonight, and while it wasn't as good as my first party, it ended up all right. I got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in FOREVER... like Amanda and Julie (old Faraday friends) as well as Paige, who admitted to me that she was in love with me my senior year of high school! Too bad I didn't know! I had a bit of a jones for her too!!! Oh well... single life is all right (I guess). Anyway... it was great seeing them; I rekindled old friendships and made some new ones as well. People apparently think I'm the world's greatest host because I make pizza rolls and little smokies. Fair enough.

I, however, hope never to throw a party with Chad again. Ever. His antics just about pushed me over the edge. As Kyle, April and Dave can attest to, he just about pushed me over the edge (until I got drunk enough to get over it). Anyway.

We won our football game. I was pretty happy about that, even though we played a really sloppy game. Schwinn was able to find himself early in the second half, thank God. I actually don't know that I've seen Roberson provide that many passing yards before. It was very exciting.

I just can't get over that Paige thing. I'm sensing the start of a beautiful renewed friendship. We'll see! WOOOoooo. Goodnight, folks.

An Update! I had a great weekend at home... lots of food and fun. It kind of sucked to come back here, but of course every dream must end. I'm a little tired, so my thoughts in this post might not be too cohesive.

I had a good conversation with Katie the other night. There's really not much I can say to follow that... we just had a good, perhaps "unhealthy" (but at least well-adjusted (?)) talk. And that's all that I can ask for.

I'm learning that the more effort I put into things (like my classes), the more rewarding the outcomes are. I know... pretty obvious fact, right? Nevertheless, I am just beginning to discover that, and so I am pretty amazed by it.

We are having a party here on Saturday night... I'm pretty excited. We'll see how our first attempt at a bi-roommate party goes... if it's anything like my first one, it'll be great. If it's anything like the one I went to at Chad's old place last spring, I'll be going to Brie's (which I might do anyway... I miss that girl!)

In other news, the annoying girl at work up and quit with no notice, which left some hours that needed to be covered. On Monday, the new girl who works evenings and has no class covered the newly vacated four-hourshift, and my boss bought her pizza for her trouble. All summer I covered shifts at the drop of a hat for sick people and quitters, and I never got anything more than a "Thanks, you're a lifesaver!". That pissed me off. Then this coming Monday, my boss has informed me, he is cooking dinner (stuffed herb-crusted chicken and angel hair pasta) for the couriers who work on Monday. I'm the only courier who doesn't work on Monday. What the hell is that? I've brought in ice cream, I've covered people's asses, and I've been there the longest of all the in-house couriers.... oh man, the more I type, the more I know I'm going to quit soon. I was going to on Tuesday, but I felt bad since the other girl quit.