Happy Trails

I was thinking today about the day I arrived in Dongying... it was an overcast, hazy day (just like today), and my room was small, bare and depressing (just like it is now)... and I was incredibly depressed by the prospect of spending almost a year in this place.

Now that year (or, really, 10 months) is finally over! The shit's packed. The room's clean (mostly). All I have left to do now is wake up in the morning, get on a bus, and GO! I can't fucking wait!

... and yet I'm depressed again. I guess maybe I don't like change, but I'm also sad to be leaving a fair few of these people (particularly our beloved bartender JJ, who I'll most likely never see again.) It's kind of like one of those situations where a group of strangers endure a trama together, and as a result they become almost as close as family. Of course, our trauma really only consisted of watching small children shit in the middle of the sidewalk, and our family is an extremely disfunctional one... but it's family nonetheless, and it's been difficult to say all the indefinite and inevitable goodbyes.

But now that all those goodbyes have been said, there's really nothing left to do but leave... and that is something to be excited about. Now it's just a couple weeks of (hopefully painless) travelling. First up... Beijing for a few days to regroup, relax, and drop off the bulk of our shit. We'll also probably either go to A.) The Forbidden City or B.) Summer Palace, because those are the two big tourist destinations I have yet to hit. After Beijing, we plan to take the train down to Xi'an for some terra cotta fun... then onto Guilin and Yangshou for a few more days, and then back to Beijing to finish off the remaining sight and to consume that eponymous duck. We have no transportation booked at present, which kind of worries me (Jesus, I've been hanging out with the Brits too much)... but I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. Right? Right!

So, anyway... goodbye, Dongying. It's been (sorta) nice knowing you...

I'm drunk... again!

Tonight's the third night in a row I've been out drinking... but tonight's probably the best night so far because A.) when we went to 0546 (Dongying's Premiere night club), there was some Chinese pop group practicing their synchronized dance for their upcoming performance(s) and B.) Alyssa went home with James... and when I say "with James", I mean "WITH James"... oh hoa! It's crazy... and I can't wait to take the mickey out of her (as the Brits say.)

In other news, I leave Dongying in like a day and a half. I'm going insane... I feel like I have so much to do (on top of dinners, drinks, and general conviviality with people that I most likely won't see in quite a long while... if ever again)... and yet I can't wait to be out of here. It makes me really happy throwing away all the pointless shit I've amassed in my year abroad (and even before then)... I feel so "free"!!!

Apparently three days after I get home, my mom is taking my brother and I along on a "business trip" to Chicago. HOLLA! I'm hoping in the next few days to set up some interviews for myself while I'm there so that hopefully I won't have to return home at the end of the vacation! If you read this and know of any place that might hire me (and can get me an interview)... LET ME KNOW!

Linkin Strong

I think I might have just had my first positive encounter with Chinese people ever (other than, of course, our resident bartender, JJ.)

My friends Richard and Greg, both teachers at the nearby Petroleum University, held an American-style bar night for their American Culture class, where basically the students were invited to come out to the bar and interact with foreigners (I assure you, this is a Chinese kid's wet dream-come-true.) So I begrudgingly decided to attend, even though most of my previous conversations/encounters with Chinese people have been creepy, annoying, or otherwise off-putting.

Tonight, though, I was entertained, and I feel I had fairly good conversations with all of the people I spoke with. Of particular note was an automation major whose self-given English name is "Linkin Strong'. Linkin Strong is awesome. Linkin Strong will rule the world. Linkin Strong says you'd better exercise and play sports... or else! He was a bit abrasive I suppose, but I enjoyed listening to him prattle on about how sports are important and how Linkin Park is the bridge between Western and Eastern culture.

But really, I had a good time.

Also, I've been buying up glasses like there's no tomorrow. So far I've bought three new pairs (complete with eye exam, frames, and lenses) for about US$160. Sweeeeet. One pair is black and blaze orange, another is white, and the final is a deep blue green that I think will match my car nicely. I'm still on the lookout for a pair or two more... I want to be in the position where I can have numerous optical options for any given occassion. Woo hoo!

In which I briefly turn a blind eye to all the reasons why I hate China.

Is it my tragic fate to only begin to appreciate things in the waning hours of my experience of them? It would seem so... at least if you look at my time here in China. Or maybe these past few weeks have been kind of really good. Basically, I've just stopped hating it here (I think mainly because the end is in sight) and as a result I've been getting out more, spending more time with friends, and having fun with my students. And how! All this makes me somewhat nostalgic about China... to the point where I'm like "Oh, Dongying, I'm gonna miss you."

Then the hot water stops working for more than a week, No-Pants Toddler's (TM) dad gets mad because I don't stop and "chat" with his son and his exposed giblets, or some Chinese fucker stares at me a little too long, and I'm ready to leave this anus of the world without a second thought.

I'm still working out where I'll be and what I'll be doing between the day I finish teaching (June 19th) and the day I fly home (July 12th)... but I think these next few weeks are going to be off the hizzy.

Nothing ever works in China, so why should I?

Considering how little there is to do in this town, I find it surprisingly hard deciding how best to spend my time. Usually I end up sitting around and mulling over all my options (most of which are DVDs) until there's nothing I can do other than flip through a couple pages of Harry Potter before passing out.

Went on a tour this afternoon of Dongying by way of mass transit. Unfortunately, it didn't work out so well and we wound up and the main bus station the majority of the time, but still... I enjoyed it and hope to do it again soon. My goal is to ride on one of the city's double-decker busses. Do you spell "busses" with one or two s's? I'm too lazy to look it up... I'll add it to my list of possible things to do tomorrow.

My apartment stinks.

We have no water. We've had no water pretty much all week. Today I thought maybe I'd have water enough to shower, and I did (albeit an icy trickle), but I've gotten so used to having no water that I forgot to put anything over the drain after I was finished showering. In most places I'm familiar with, this would have been no big deal. But since China has yet to discover the beauty of plumbing that utilizes traps, I am now stuck with an apartment that smells of sewage. Bummer.

My plane tickets arrived today... during class. I opted to stop the class, open the package, check the tickets, and then gloat to my students that I am getting the fuck out of here in less than a month (well, out of Dongying... I fly home on July 12th.) I also told some of them that I hate them, but they don't know what that means. MUAHAHAHAHA!!! So that's exciting.

I fear I have been bested by my toddling troupes of Chinese children... they have officially pushed me over the edge. One can only teach so many classrooms full of rowdy children who talk, play, spit, shit and do pretty much everything aside from pay attention while their teachers (the ones who they actually listen to) sit in the back grading papers, talking to each other, sleeping, or answering cell phones... before they go off the deep end. I am now plotting ways to do in all of my students (and maybe some of those teachers) before I leave this tactless shitbox of a "nation" for good.

Top on my list (and probably the most poetic, given current events) is giving my students candy, but poisoning it with antifreeze so that, while it's deliciously sweet, it's also deliciously toxic. This would be especially effective because almost every day they bombard me with demands for "sweets"... even though they have no reason to believe that I would actually give them one.

Next up would be to lock them in some sort of gated community, give each of them a weapon, and force them to kill eachother until only one remains... who I would then personally kill, likely with any left-over poisonous candies from the previous murder method. I'd probably have to strap C4 to their necks so that if they tried to make any trouble, I could have them remote detonated.

Another option is to simply allow them to live out their pointless, abrassive, animalistic and disgusting lives in this festering landfill of a society... a fate far worse than death. This whole country's probably going to fold in on itself someday anyway... and it'd be a shame to deprive myself of the pleasure of watching it happen from afar by merely offing a few of the future causes of that implosion.

And so I wait.