I remember when I was kid, Disney used to be awesome...

A Fruitful Day. You are now reading the blog of an official staff writer of the Kansas State Collegian. A girl I've had a couple classes with, the lovely Nasrina Williams, was able to get the editor of the Edge (the arts, entertainment, and lifestyle portion of the paper) to hire me on. We will take care of all the logistical stuff on Sunday, but yeah. The first article I will be writing is due mid-February, and it's a piece on the Manhattan Arts Center's production of "The Apple Tree". For those of you who didn't go to Olathe North when I did, or for those of you who did but have too many mind-altering pasttimes, we put on our own production of the musical my sophomore year. It really sucked, but hey... at least maybe I'll get to see it again for free! Other articles I might write on in the future include a piece on girls who resort to stripping to pay for college, an article on cinematherapy, and many more things. At least this will be the first job where I will be able to utilize (to some extent) my major. And that, my friends, is a good feeling.

Oh, Oscar. This Acadamy Awards promotion that we have going on at work is too great to miss out on. I was kind of joking when I told friends that I thought they'd do this, but oh no, they went ahead and actually made my speculations true.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the time has come to announce our nominees for...
Best Ice Cream Creation in a Motion Picture Category

Lord of the Pecans: The Return of the Caramel: French Vanilla Ice Cream with Pecans, Caramel and Graham Cracker Pie Crust
Minty River: Mint Ice Cream with Double Oreos and Fudge
Lost in Banana Splitation: Banana Ice Cream with Strawberries, Fudge and Roasted Almonds
Strawberry-iscuit: Strawberry Ice Cream with Graham Cracker Pie Crust, Strawberries and Banana
Mastermallow and Chocomander: Chocolate Ice Cream with Roasted Almonds and Double Marshmallows

The "titles" seem like they were made up by some junior high school kid with a lot of free time. In the spirit of the Acadamy Awards, they probably were. I dunno if we're actually doing this at the store I work at.... it might just be an NYC/LA fruity kind of thing. Check it out for yourself here.

Social Status and Class Yes, I am still single.

Those of you who had hopes for me or faith in my ability to perservere through a sixteen hour semester, I have failed you, and for reasons which are too stupid to jot down here, I have dropped down to twelve hours. I have dropped Biology, and saved it for another semester, and I have also dropped Spanish Composition and Grammar... which I might also take some other time when my other classes aren't so meaty. I only have two semesters left... so... yeah. Anyway. Here's a bit about the new class I added, as well as the class I was already in but didn't have until today (it's a once-a-week class.)

Geography of the U.S.: 3:30 MWF Yes, I sucked it up and took a class that will be held on Mondays, Wednesdays, AND Fridays, so I'm not ALL that lazy. This is a 500 level class in a subject that I have never formally studied, but according to Hannah, it shouldn't be too bad. The teacher seems pretty funny, and it's in a big lecture hall, so if I magically don't show up to one or two (or eight) classes, it won't make that big of a deal... at least not "participation"-wise.

Advanced Creative Writing - Fiction: 7:05-9:55pm W This class is going to be fun. We basically have to write three short stories and do some other random, fun stuff, and that is it. Susan Rodgers is the professor, and she is great fun, plus I know or have had class with quite a few people in the class. Included in that group of people I know is Emily Thompson, who I've had class with for the past three semesters (if you count the Development of the English Language, which I dropped after one class period, so really... we've only had two semesters of class together.) She used to hang out with us all the time, and she's cool as hell. So cheers to that.

Now that I've blogged, I am going to return to reading poetry by the Puritan poet Michael Wigglesworth. I actually have to read his stuff for both of my classes tomorrow, which is kind of weird... too bad his poems are long ass and I don't have to get the same one for both classes. Here's to hell, fire, and brimstone!

Oh, and Happy Birthday to Jason. Here's a poem for you, bud.

A Birthday Dialogue Poem
Cake or pie?
Cake.
Why?
Candles.
24?
No, Keifer! No.
What?
... Twenty-four.

Exhausted. I can't keep up with the amount of subjectivity that seems to be required of art these days. Maybe this is why I have no faith in my intellect or in my writing... because I simply don't have what I consider to be deep subjective thoughts. Well, let me rephrase that... I do have subjective thought... but it seems that a lot of the time I'd rather just flesh out the shadows of this kind of thinking, and then let others do their own interpreting. I hate how I feel isolated by a lot of the stuff I'm reading these days... how most of the interpretation is done for me, and somehow, to my disappointment, it just doesn't quite fit. When did existential thought become an exclusive society whose members are required to ponder the ecological, femenist, and Marxist ramifications of the word "man". BLEGH!

I think I'm just in a mood where nothing seems simple... everything seems complicated. To be, and to relate the experience of your being through whatever creative gifts God gave to you does not seem to be enough for the aspiring artist. I hate how I am continually left questioning my own thought processes. Am I really as vapid as I feel I am? Don't answer that.

Remember Vivian. For some reason I thought today about my dear old friend Vivian. Vivian was an inflatable doll that my friends and I bought when we were in high school in order to make a movie... an art piece, if you will... about the hypocrisy of life a society in which we want to accept and befriend everyone even though it is truly impossible. It was funny as hell, yes -- but in a way it was brilliant... even poignant. It involved such memorable scenes as a quickie in an outhouse, a crying plastic face (Vivian's), and like all good films, a burning mansion. Rick, Skippy, Janie... if you have this movie, send it to me. I'd like to watch it again... for old time's sake.

I need to get a big, comfy "reading recliner" so that I can actually focus on reading rather than on other things like inflatable dolls.

Threesome Fun by Mckennat
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Date of Threesome	April 11, 2015
Location of Threesome	tour bus
First Partner	Johnny Depp
Second Partner	Christina Aguilera
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Hmmmmmmm. For even more pornographic fun and fancy, try this link out for size.

I dunno where this came from, maybe just Caleb Jennison's blog, but it's cool. I always dream of being one of the few survivors of some apocalyptic event.... so yeah.

"You'll hunt elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of rockefeller center, and dig clams next to the skeleton of the Space Needle leaning at a forty five degree angle. We'll paint the skyscrapers with huge totem faces and goblin tikis. Imagine stalking prey past department store windows and stinking racks of beautiful rotting dresses and tuxedos on hangers; you'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life, and you'll climb the wrist thick kudzu vines that wrap the sears tower. You'll climb up through the dripping forest canopy and see tiny figures pounding corn and laying strips of venison to dry in the empty car pool lane of an abandoned superhighway stretching eight lanes wide and August hot for a thousand miles."

Fun, huh? If you don't think so too, just know that I hate you.

Yesterday (Friday) I met Taylor. She gave me my first hickey, and now everyone I know thinks I'm trashy, but hey... that's cool. Today (Saturday) we all hung out and ate at Cox Brothers, where they have pineapple cole slaw, which I enjoyed. I worked. It sucked. Then I went to Jason's. We drove out past Pillsbury Crossing and explored a creepy little shack. If you've ever seen The Blair Witch Project, it was kind of like the ending, only outside of this place there was a sign declaring it used to be some research area. There were loose floorboards, shattered furniture and walls marred by a few axe-happy persons. Then we went to the "barn" which had its own spookifying qualities. I'm not really in a state to be describing all this (I know -- or hope -- I could do a lot better than I'm doing now, but yeah). So that was fun. Then we went back to Jason's. and then I came home. It's been raining and it's been really cold, so when I came out of Jason's, I almost fell about five thousand times. (more like twice). Then, as I walked across my parking lot, I completely and utterly fell flat on my face right behind a car backing up. They stopped... or were far away enough so that it didn't matter, but man... my ribs hurt right now like no other. Like when you eat peanut butter too fast. Uggghhh!

I hope I can make it home tomorrow. It's David's sixteenth birthday... but my mom has called several times telling me that if there's ice, she doesn't want me attempting it. I guess I'll see if I fall on my ass again after I wake up. It'll be how I gage the safeness of trying to drive home from now on.

The Rundown. The first two days of the Spring 2004 semester have come and gone. I have been to all but one class now, and even though I'd like to wait and tell you about ALL my classes, the one I haven't been to doesn't happen till Wednesday, and I don't have that kind of patience. So... I'll save that one for later. Here we go, my friends:

The Environment in American Literature: 11:30 TU another class with my beloved advisor, Elizabeth Dodd. This class is a survey of American Literature that is written about, you guessed it, the environment. Despite the sound of it, it looks to be an enjoyable class, if for no other reason than I sat next to two very attractive females. It's mostly full of hippies and grad students, but you never know. It is the class I am looking forward to the most.

American Survey 1: 1:05 TU My teacher, Dean Hall, is a mountain man... old, heavy set, with a big beard and flannel shirt. He seems pretty cool. He is actually the husband of my coolest professor last semester, Naomi Wood, which is kind of weird because she seems so young. Despite his coolness, however, I think this class is going to kind of suck. There's a lot of reading (50+ pages per class), and we have to post a lot on an electronic bulletin board, which isn't so fun for me... although you think it would be, since I post on here quite a lot.

Spanish Composition and Grammar: 2:30 TU Have you ever taken an Expository Writing or Composition class? They suck, don't they? Well, this one's given entirely in Spanish, a language I haven't been exposed to in the class room since the Spring semester of my freshman year. The prof, Ines de la Torre Ugarte, seems really nice... but I dunno if that's going to make up for how much the class is going to suck. She even made a point of saying that people who did well in Spanish 4 struggle to get a B in the class. I quizzed out of Spanish 4... two years ago. Uggghhh.

Intro to Biology Principles: 1:30 WF This class doesn't look too bad. It's in a big "studio" class room... maybe eighty or ninety students at lab tables equipped with computers and microscopes. The professors, Glennis somethingoranother (a large, deep voiced woman who studies mice on the prairie) and Katsura Asano (a small Japanese man who looks to yeast for the answers to genetic mysteries)seem very knowledgeable in their fields, and seem very interested in contributing to our own knowledge of the world of biology. The problem is... I really don't care. The building is bitch-ass far away from my apartment, and attendance requirements are strict. I HAVE to have this class, which might persuade me to stay in, but... blegh.

So, that's my semester. If I were to give it a theme, it would be "Nature and American Literature".... which is kind of opposite from last semester, which was kind of "Old British Poetry" semester. We'll see how me and sixteen hours fit together. Hopefully better than the last time I had this many credit hours. Well, I'm off to work out!

Dear Katie Vincent, Having lived in a dorm with thick walls and floors for two years, I was utterly naive about the amount of sex girls in Manhattan have, but you, my dear friend, have made that information so perfectly clear to me. In the early days, I came to anxiously anticipate Thursday nights. After the bars closed down, I would hear you tromp on your heels like an angry school girl into your room, followed by someone with a stronger and yet softer step. Then, like a gift from God falling straight out of heaven above, I would hear a big jump on the bed, and then, Katie, I listened to the methodic mattress mambo ensue directly above my head for a whole five minutes until finally, it came to with a passionate quiver in the floorboards. As I lay in my bed trying to fall asleep, I found it to be an altogether illuminating auditory experience. As the time (and your bed springs) wore on, you seemed to have grown past that childish sexual decadence into a once at night and then once in the morning kind of woman -- good for you! Your deep, melodic moaning has now become audible through the approximate two feet of wood and plaster that separate our bedrooms, and I'll be damned if I can't even hear the faint sound of angelic applause after every time the squeaking ceases. Way to go!

P.S. Katie, even though I know he doesn't like it, I think its good that you take a shower after every time. I mean, after all, who really wants that stuff all over themselves anyway? You go girl.

I wasn't going to work out today, but I did. It felt pretty good... we'll see how tomorrow goes. I drove to Topeka to hang out with Joe... we ate dinner at a pretty good Mexican place and watched some TV and then went and saw Along Came Polly (for FREE, thanks to an old neighbor in Putnam). It was pretty good... Phillip Seymour Hoffman was hilarious, as was Bryan Brown. And of course, Jennifer Aniston was gorgeous. Eh.... it's worth a watch for all of that. I'll probably buy it, the consumer whore I am.

When I was driving back to Manhattan, I encountered the thickest fog I had ever driven through. It was intense, and it was made even more intense by my intense imagination. Intense. This guy behind me creeped up really close to me, stayed there for maybe thirty seconds, and then fell back about a quarter mile behind me for most of the trip. I thought (or pretended) that maybe he had taken down my license plate, and was then going to follow me into the peaceful town of Manhattan, search for my license plate number, and kill me amidst the dense fog and softly falling rain. Then I remembered... life's just not that interesting. At least not for me... but HEY, the night is young. He (or she... I never really considered that it could be a female stalker) might be patrolling the dark Manhattan alleyways right now, looking endlessly for QMR 349... or maybe he/she is breathing heavily outside my window, waiting for me to shut of the lights and crawl into bed....................

Writer's block. There are times like tonight when I really want to write... when the pain I'm feeling is so biting and acute... and yet pretty much nonexistent, except for this little twinge of anger in the back of my mind, and I know that written down it could be at the very least SOMEWHAT readable... if given the proper diction-ary finesse. My problem is that I don't feel I have this finesse, and so I believe that anything I write would just come out like something a whiney teenager might say about his parents. Then again, I'm only about a year removed from my own days as a teenager - which is where the entire problem stems from in the first place. Three years and it's still hard to get used to. I'm going to bed.

Things are workin' out. Yesterday, I made my big return back to the realm of working out. I didn't go to the rec, but instead to the Manhattan Athletic Club where my friend Justin is a physical trainer. Aside from the fact that the place kind of stank and was a little less bright and bubbly than the rec, it was a pretty good time, so I'm going to go with that for awhile. At least I won't have to wait in line!

Later on in the night, we had poker night with some of the guys, and I won! So that was exciting. Now I just have to write up a resume and get ready for classes to start a week from today.

Things. I always think of about twenty random things to put in my blog, and I word out my description of each in my head with such eloquence that some might consider me the most brilliant writer in the world today. Then I drink, or I sit down and watch TV, or I do any number of other things that render me completely devoid of intelligent thought, and then I decide to sit down and post. That is where this post is coming from. Random, yes. Poorly written, I agree. However, after all of these poor posts I've written, you're still reading, aren't you?

The biggest news I have is that I'm thinking of applying for a internship in New York City this summer. It's a ten-week position with Random House which, for those of you who don't purchase things made of paper, is a publishing house. The only things holding me back are the fact that I need a resume, which I don't have... and the fact that I kind of want to be with my friends the day I turn twenty-one. BUT... there are more important things. So yeah... I'll keep you posted.

Equally grand is the fact that Jessica Ritter plans to come out to Manhappenin' Kansas for a little visit the first weekend in February. For those of you who know of Jessica's past visits to Manhattan (in that they have ended up being cancelled at the last minute), you'll be glad to hear that she has informed me that the only thing that will bar her arrival will be the unfortunate occurence of snowfall on the date of her travel (which is scheduled on the fifth of February). Jessica, we eagerly look forward to seeing you and enjoying your convivial spirit once more.

I am off work for the next five days (until Saturday night), so if you have anything you want to do this week that is exciting for two people, let me know; I'd be glad to join you.

I got my watch adjusted today; it now fits snugly around my wrist, which is good. I watched Spirited Away this morning, which I thought was very good. Because Jason said he wanted to get it, and since I am feeling devoid of good music these days, and because I trust Jason's taste in all things musical and cinematic, and because the album was featured in last week's Entertainment Weekly, I purchased the new Phantom Planet CD. It is very entertaining. See the current Song of the Moment for my downloading recommendation. I talked to Katie today, which was good, since it's been so long. She showed me her tattoo, and I will tell you all... I am a fan... and I'm not even a tattoo person.

Change. There are some people in my life - people like Jen Kure - who I have lost touch with. It pains me to think that a person who I was good friends with at one time is no longer in my life... and that it probably is mostly my fault. There are others of you... and to everyone who falls in this category, I apologize.

Now on to the actual reason I titled the entry "Change." - All of you who read this thing regularly know how cool I am, so I would like to fill you in on a little project I'm starting. I propose that we all, instead of reading dollar and change amounts in our conventional American way, read the numbers like our British brothas and sistas. This would mean that the numerical $6.50 would be read aloud as "six dollars fifty" rather than the cumbersome "six dollars and fifty cents". It would save us all time which is important because, as we all know, time is money. Plus, it will make people think we are a little bit cooler than what we really are... kind of like white people who think they are black and use ebonics.

A Tennis Ball Those of you who periodically check my Instant Messenger profile will be glad to find out that today I bought myself a tennis ball. Yes, friends, I am broke, but I shelled out $2.14 (in coins) to purchase myself a three pack of the fuzzy neon-yellow spheres.

Some of you might have asked yourselves "Why?" Others might be asking the same question right now. Well, my friends, I have an answer for you. According to a small bit in Men's Health this month, squeezing a tennis ball in your right hand while reading will help you understand and retain the information you are reading, as the stimulation will help to activate the left side of your brain, which we all know is responsible for your boring, computer programming, data processing functions. Want to paint a picture or write an entertaining novel? Well then just switch hands! Yes, my friends, it is that simple. See, squeezing that bouncy little orb of delight in your left hand will stimulate the right side of your brain - the side which is responsible for your more creative pursuits.

Now, I have two extra balls... tennis balls, that is. I bet at least two of you out there wish you had one of them in YOUR hands right now!

I am off work for the next three days, which is very exciting. I made it through the working without the bosses at Cold Stone week alive. It was actually really nice... not having someone watch over your shoulder and critique every single thing you do (except for the two times I worked with Chelsea... MAN she is annoying!) Plus, I got a lot of hours and got paid a whopping $6.50 an hour (to basically do nothing, because no one came in because it was so cold). Anyway. That was great, but I'm glad it's over.

I've been having very weird dreams lately. Every morning I wake up and I'm mad at a different person. Two nights ago it was my boss. Three nights ago it was Nicole Kidman. Last night, it was my roommate. Chad, if you ever let a drunk person sleep in my bed and puke all over it, I will kill you. KILL you.

I have no money, so today I think I'm going to play video games and watch movies at home. I'm supposed to call Joe about maybe seeing a movie in Topeka, but I doubt I could make it there on the amount of gasoline I have. Tomorrow is pay day, so then I will go grocery shopping and do other exciting things.

I made chicken cordon bleu the other night... it was soo good! I am an expert chef. An expert chef I am. I will do a little expert chef dance to leave you with this afternoon....

There ya go!

So, I did end up going to Wal-Mart tonight, but first I sat down and read my latest issue of Men's Health. Whenever I read that magazine, I always get a drive to better myself, so I got myself some new underware (as per a recommendation in an article) and bought some more of my face scrub and lotion and I even got a brand new pen (a fountain pen, in fact... because I am so cool like that.) Then I guess I really got "the drive", because I went driving. I used to do it all the time back home, but the weird thing about Manhattan is it's pretty much bordered by four roads (Ft. Riley Blvd., Tuttle Creek Blvd., Seth Childs, and Kimball), and anything outside of that small area is foreign. So I ventured into foreign territory, saw some good stars, listened to some good music, and found this really kick-ass house. It was a good time. Then I went over to Tim's and watched Seabiscuit, which was good (in the conventional sense... like Rudy...) and yeah. Anyway!

Oh, work. I'm getting so tired of working at Cold Stone that it's kind of sick. It's not THAT bad: today we had about four customers in the eight hours I was there (although we weren't open for three of those hours), so that was nice... but blah. It's just like all my other jobs... a place where I make a small amount of money (nothing I can actually save) and where I get stuck for several months/years because I feel bad looking for a job elsewhere. I just want to find a job that I can put down on a resume. Hmmmm.

In my career, will I even need a resume? I think I will... at least in the beginning. I guess you have to know what you want to do before you go thinking about all of that stuff.

I think I'm going to go to Wal-Mart tonight before I go to bed. Hell, maybe I'll even do a little writing! THE POSSIBILITIES ARE SIMPLY ENDLESS - sort of. Stupid Manhattan.

Cold Mountain. Today I went and saw Cold Mountain starring my beloved Nicole Kidman. I really liked it... a lot. It had a pretty good plot (as in it wasn't a remake of Braveheart), good acting, and a lot of my favorite actors. It also managed to bring back memories and make me think of a certain someone... which is oh so fun, especially when you are seeing the movie alone. I hope someday someone yearns for me and I yearn for her like Ada and Inman... sniff, sniff....

Speaking of sniff sniff, I'm trying to hide my eyes from the as yet horrible experience that is the Fiesta Bowl. Ohio State's defense is just killing any hopes I have of witnessing another Wildcat victory this season. Oh well, I guess I'm out of stuff to talk about. Today's been pretty blah, and tomorrow I'm going back for a long stint at work. It'll be my first time being the manager of the store... which will be interesting. Hopefully, if I'm working with a lot of high school kids, they'll actually work. Probably not, though. :( I think I might go see another movie tonight... either Lord of the Rings, Cold Mountain again, or Something's Gotta Give.

Ringing in the New Year. New Years kind of sucked this year. Not all of it, but some. For starters, most of my friends went to Tempe to see the Cats kick some ass in the Fiesta Bowl. I ended up hanging with my good friend Kyle and his friends Raquel, Jake/Jeremy, and Jamie. We had a good time, which included my first ever fondue experience, Cranium, and Taboo. That was probably the best part of my New Years Eve. THEN we went to Aggieville to see the first annual ball dropping ceremony. Ahhh how to describe it....

When we got there, there were 12,500,000 people (not really, but we couldn't really get into the mouth of Aggieville. They had a lazer light show going on, and it was displaying logos of the sponsers of the event as well as unsettling images of the grim reaper. Then they did a countdown of the top ten events to hit Manhattan. The only one I agreed should have been on the list was the Cats wining the big 12 championship. Everything else, such as the opening of our local Target, the debate over whether to pray in city hall, and the temporary closure of a small section of 3rd street, was utterly ridiculous. At about 11:59, our attention was directed to a small "apple" (which looked more like a disco-ball-style strawberry) on a maybe 10-foot pole on top of Varney's. Then there was the 10 second countdown. The "ball" dropped about two feet between our "NINE!" and "SEVEN!", and that was the extent of the ball drop. At one, a pretty fair fireworks display illuminated the surroundings, which held the overly depressing image of several happy couples kissing and then kissing more and then making out and then pretty much laying down and having sex right on Manhattan Avenue! It was so great. Anyway...

Today composed of me waking up and watching some of the Rose Bowl Parade, which brought back happy memories of my childhood, so I decided to go and buy some of the traditional New Years fare that my family and I have enjoyed for many a year... black eyed peas and cabbage - which are said to bring good luck in the coming year. I've never really been a fan of the stuff actually, but, I decided, why not?

I sort of knew how to make the black-eyed peas... the peas, of course, some ham hock, an onion, some chicken broth, and a little (or a lot) of Tabasco. They turned out about like always... which I was happy with. For the cabbage, my family usually has cole slaw, but I wasn't feeling that, so I opted to attempt a cabbage casserole like one my Uncle Jim brought to Christmas dinner quite a few years ago. I searched diligently for about two and a half minutes before finding one that seemed about the same, and I made it, and it turned out reasonably well. I invited Kyle over, and he tried some, but he's not too into the whole cabbage and black-eyed pea scene, so we ordered some supplemental Gumby's. I really think that New Years got the shaft as far as holiday food. I mean.... who thought up those things? Why can't cheesburgers and french fries bring you good luck???

Anyway... then we watched Identity, which was good, and a couple episodes of The Office, which I love, and then we played and beat Lord of the Rings: Return of the King in cooperative mode. Kyle left then, and I did dishes, then came to my room and discovered an away message from Katie, which made me smile. And so I decided to blog. This has been my 2004 so far... it's off to a great start, I feel! I wonder what the coming year will bring? Fame? Fortune? A girlfriend? The possibilities are endless... this is, after all, the year I turn twenty-one. In four days, I will officially have only six months left to wait... although by that time most of my over twenty-one year old friends will be graduated gone.