There has to be a morning after.

After I posted last night I decided to just go to bed, and the attempt was relatively successful. However, now my apartment's still a mess, and I have no drive to try and get it clean again. I keep telling myself about how we have some people coming over tonight and whatnot, but then I remind myself that once I get it clean, I'm just going to be frustrated when it gets dirty again before anyone even gets here. This is the one reason I really can't wait to live alone. Or get married to a woman who has similar if not identical views of household hygiene.

But that's a long way off.

I don't have to work tomorrow which means that I essentially have a four day weekend. I kind of wish I had done something sort of "fun"... even if all it was was staying in Olathe through Monday. I'm in another period where this town is driving me insane... though it's significantly less of an issue than it was last time. Still, I have a feeling I'm going to start upsetting people , and that I'm going to get defensive about it but... yeah.

So let's just nip it all off at the bud.

Okay.

I'm fine.

There's a line in Before Sunset that I really identify with... or hope to identify with someday when I can live somewhere without television and maybe even internet. I was going to quote it but yeah. These two things are comforts in my life, and yet they cause me to not really live. Instead of talking to people and forming firm connections, I sit here for hours on end and type on this thing. Instead of going out and seeking other avenues of entertainment, I sit on the couch and watch Joe watch TV shows that I have absolutely no interest in. I need to cut the media out of my life... the media that tells me how bad I look and how poor I am and how scary the world is. I'm so tired of not being alive. Really alive.

Soon? I hope?