Memories. I'm at home in Olathe right now, and I was browsing through my computer for pictures to add to my profile on Friendster when I stumbled across some pictures from back in the day when I was skinny (and much more attractive than I am today). It's weird... I look so young and happy. What changed? I was even thinking on the drive home about how much my life has changed in the past few years... I am missing the simplicity that I felt back then. MAN... I need to go back on a diet! I LOOKED SO GOOD! I think that settles it... I should print out the picture and put it on my fridge and it'll be my motivation to take control of at least one part of my life!

Tomorrow is my grandpa's funeral. I feel bad, because to break the tension that comes when I tell people he died (a tension which I hate)... I say that I'm okay because "he was kind of a bastard". This is a lie... or at least a partial truth; my grandpa treated people the way he did because that is the definition he had of love. To him, negative comments were no different than positive ones... he just said what he felt. Sometimes he hurt people (well... a lot), but I think he meant well. So grandpa, if you're dead but read this (or listen in on my conversations)... know that me calling you a bastard is me being unable to deal with the fact that you're gone. It has started to hit me, though... it did especially when I read the little pamphlet thing from his visitation tonight.

Congrats to my friend Michelle, who has yet to tell me the good news ;) But I'm sure she will in time.

I remember back in the day, how I thought love could move the world. I thought it could just cause thousands of miles to disappear and bring continents together and whatnot. Was I wrong? Mmmmmm...

Sometimes I think all I write here is worthless crap that no one wants or needs to read. Tim asked me today what the point of a blog is. I told him I didn't know... it's just a place where I write my thoughts. Maybe I make a difference, though? Maybe I say something or react to something similar to the way you might, and so you are affected by our ability to relate on those emotions (or maybe not). But DAMMIT I'm going to keep blogging, because it feels good, and it makes me happy. So... yeah. Please sign up for Friendster and add me as a friend... it's a lot of fun (at least... it looks like it could be). And Katie, sorry for the no e-mail. After I hung up, I lost my train of thought. I think my head will be a bit clearer tomorrow night.