So... I was hanging out with Mike and started looking for some paper clips to bind some codes we found for him online when I stumbled across some old letters from the Kate. I played it cool until I took Mike home, then I sat down and read what she had to say a couple years ago before I visited her (in the time after we had been broken up for over a year). I am in a really weird place right now after reading them...

When you have been needed by someone for a long time, but they no longer need you anymore... that's a really shitty feeling. It's like the whole world turned itself inside out, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make things "right" again. But who's to say they were "right" in the first place? I guess I just don't know what to do about it. I feel like, as much as I had changed from the time we were together to the time those letters were written, I was a much different person: I had hope. Now... I think I am somewhere even lower than I was then (and I thought I could get no lower). I feel like everything that I put forth.... my thoughts and words and attitude... everything is negative. I don't know how to sum all this up, but... yeah.

Some of you may be thinking, "Man get a life!" and I would agree. I know there are much more important things than old letters from an old girlfriend to whom I rarely speak anymore. But I mean WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? There is so much in my life I should be happy about... even so much more than "back in the day"... and yet it feels that since my life isn't focused on that one girl... uggghhh.

Aside from all this, I'm happy. Really. Just another negative thought that I've decided to add to my ever-darkening blog entries.